Shopping the day after Thanksgiving? Just the thought of it makes me cringe. I have visions (maybe more like nightmares) of no parking, long lines, and lots and lots of people. It’s crazy how crazy it gets. I’ll be watching the news coverage from home. Ok, honestly, I’m not sure if I’ll be up to watching the news coverage of this.

Here are some safety tips I came up with, though, for those of you who may be participating in this ritual. Wear protective gear, follow these tips, and you should be safe:

10. The early bird doesn’t always get the worm. Sometimes it’s better to sleep in.

9. Elmo is cute. TMX Elmo is a little scary. Ask yourself: is it really worth it?

8. Shopping is not should not be a competitive sport.

7. If you’re in the middle of a stampede or see one coming your way, you should get out of the way.

6. Don’t forget to also get your kids out of the way.

5. Actually, maybe it’s best if you leave your kids at home.

4. Don’t push and shove.

3. If people should fall down while the crowd rushes into a store, please don’t step on or over them.

2. Better yet, help the fallen people get up.

1. Avoid all of this and shop online.